Wednesday

Today I went shopping with my mom. I had a double stack for breakfast and 1/2 a sub for lunch. I had a bottle of water instead of soda. :) For dinner, I ate late and had a bunch of oysters and crackers and cookies and milk. I purged. 


I was 225.0 this morning when I woke up. I bought a stroller today, so I can take Emerald on walks with me. :) 

Tuesday

I am being such a bitch today because I'm fucking starving and all I want to do is eat and entire pizza and throw it up.


Food today:


Egg and cheese sandwich
Ham sandwich
Corn
Few candies
4 cokes
spaghetti


This morning I weighed 226.8.  My first ACTUAL weight loss in a while. I've been eating at "normal" times, 3 main meals, and a snack. For the past few days, and it actually showed. Which I'm happy about. I got DDR and that shows me how many calories I burn when I use it. Which is fun, and active. :) I'm seriously about to go eat some spaghetti and purge though. I just need to feel full.


Mike was so mad about me purging. He said I "have a problem". :( It made me feel really bad. Tomorrow I'm going shopping with my mom, and I'm sure she's going to want to take me out to lunch. UGH. So I'm gonna have to try to get something small, and "healthy". At least something with protein in it. And NO soda. It just sucks because any time you go out to eat it sets you back at least 400 calories. 


I'm going to spend the rest of the night showering, shaving, and reading a book. Emerald is really fighting going to sleep, so I think its probably going to be a long night of wake ups. I'm hoping she'll pass out for the night soon though. But, its only 8:30. Feels later. 

Week #3

I'm almost embarrassed to write. But this is my blog, so I can do what I want. Today I weighed 228.2.....no progress obviously. *sigh* Losing weight is so hard, and discouraging, but especially around Christmas. With the  6 different houses we had to go to, there was an abode of food at all of them, of course. And also, people to say "Oh why don't you eat some more, here try this, have some of this..." NO. No people. What don't you get about "i'm trying to lose weight"? I don't want to take home your truckload of cookies, and candy, and fattening foods. No thanks.

I'm so glad Christmas is over. It was a great Christmas, I'm just ready to lose weight. I'm so...so sick of being fat. Its literally been putting me in a bad mood lately. Just sickened by the fact that I can't fit any of my clothes. Imagine going in your closet and grabbing a pair of pants. They don't fit. You grab another. Nope. None of them fit. Then you try your shirts, bras, underwear, nothing fits. I hate it. I just wanna fit my clothes again. I can't believe I let myself gain 60 pounds while I was pregnant. How stupid.

And now I'm in a terrible mood today, because I dropped Mike off to play Halo with his brother at 12pm, at 6pm, they still had a WHILE to go. Its 7:30 now, and I'm sure its still going to be a few more hours. And guess what? Mike is cleaning the floors at his school tomorrow, stripping and re-waxing all of them. It takes 3 solid days. So, way to waste the last week of holiday we have together. I feel like crying. What an asshole.

Today I've eaten:
5 egg white
2 cokes
turkey
2 rolls
mini m&m's
handful of kalamata olives
bowl of spaghetti-o's

For exercise I reorganized my entire closet. Went through all of our clothes, donated a bunch to Goodwill. Went and got some new clothes. Took every bit of clothing out of the closet and put it back in, my clothes on the right, Mike's on the left. And folded the pajama type stuff. It took a few hours.

Wednesday

Ugh, up bright and early this morning. I said I wanted 6 hours of sleep last night when I went to bed at 2am, and thats what I got, the baby woke up, and as I was pouring myself a glass of water, it was exactly 8am. Lol. Plus I got bit a couple times last night by those fucking bed bugs. Still need to call the landlord and tell her we need to do heat treatments, not spraying. 
Anyway, here is my plan for the next month, until January 21st, when I want to be 215 pounds. (god I never thought i'd ever say I want to be 215 pounds, how disappointing):

1. Weighing every day. I know every person in the entire freakin planet wants to tell me to only weigh once a week, but I'm goal oriented and I want to see my results every day. It helps me plan for the day ahead when I wake up and weigh myself. Either I'm going to be too much and limit myself that day, I'm going to maintain what I was the day before and limit myself that day, or I'll weigh less and have motivation to keep up the good work.
2. Make my dieting known. If everyone around me knows that I'm trying to lose weight, it'll give me more motivation to show them that I can do it, and limit my amount of time eating crap I shouldn't when I'm around everyone.
3. Drink 8 glasses of water a day. I should already be doing this, but I haven't been. So I'm going to try to remember to drink a glass of water every hour for at least 8 hours.
4. No dieting on the weekends. The weekends seem to mess me up a bit, and I find that if I try to keep myself to a strict diet when I'm doing things on the weekend, that I end up binging. Binging = Purging, and thats not good.
5. Making small healthier choices. Things like, when I'm out at a restaurant, I'll order a water, or tea instead of a soda. I won't put massive amounts of salt on my food. I won't go for that second helping.
6. Invest in watching a 30 minute TV show once a day, and work out during. Sets aside a small amount of time during the day to work out, but be entertained at the same time. Makes it easier to commit to.
7. Park further away! I seem to have awesome luck when it comes to parking, I always get one right up front. Well, I'm going to start parking at the back of the parking lot, not the front, so I have to walk further.
8. Not sacrificing events in my life for the diet. This is another thing that messes me up. Its someones birthday, and I try to be good, but end up once again binging. If its a special event then I'm going to let myself participate, just having moderation.
9. Put my start weight up some where, and scratch off the numbers until I get to my next goal weight. I'm also a "listy" type of person, and I love to see thing crossed off. This is guaranteed to motivate.

*Just thought I'd mention that this morning I had an egg and cheese sandwich, and just by using only egg whites and one piece of cheese I cut the calories of this sandwich from 400 to 234. Almost in half! Go egg whites! :)

Tuesday

Today was kind of a weird day. Not so great, but not so bad. :/ Coulda done better. God this is so hard to get the hang of. Ate 1 mcdouble, 85% of a large chocolate milkshake, 2 helpings of alfredo spaghetti and mushrooms, 1 glass of milk with 2 packets of hot cocoa, 95% of a 1 liter of mountain dew.

*sigh* don't even wanna look at the scale.

Monday

So I've done some thinking, and I think I'm going to change weigh in days to Friday. Wednesday just isn't working for me. It doesn't feel right, its in the middle of the week. I don't like it. So Friday is the new day for weighing in beginning this week. I haven't done so well since last Wednesday, and have resorted to, yes, purging. :/ Not proud, but the past two nights I've purged dinner. In secret I might add. Mike would be pretty mad if he found out, so I've been trying my best to keep it quiet and him not knowing. Can't do it tomorrow though, so I'll just have to be good for the day. I'm feeling pretty selfish about purging. 

I'm going to try to get my elliptical from my dad's house sometime soon. I can't do it with my tiny little cavalier though. DH bought me a betta fish today, he's blue and his fins are red, and his eyes are blue. I named him Mason, because I put him in a mason jar. lol. I need to get some betta food though because I don't have any like I thought I might. 

So my goal is still 223.0 for Friday, instead of Wednesday. 

Week #2

Wow so I haven't been doing very well with keeping up with this blog. Still trying to lose weight out in the real world though. Haven't been doing my exercise routine like I should though. Losing weight a couple years ago was a lot easier because it was all I had to center my attention around. Its gonna be more difficult this time. 

So anyway. Weigh in for yesterday was 225.0. 

So in a week I lost 1.2 pounds. Which I suppose is more realistic than losing 4 pounds right? Oh well. Its better than none, or gaining even. And with the way I was over the weekend, I thought I might gain. So next Wednesday, I'm shooting for something more realistic. 2 pounds. I want to be 223.0 by next Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010.


I'm also trying this thing with my stretchmarks (my zillions of stretchmarks) where you put Vitamin E on them and its supposed to lighten them over the course of 2 weeks. I'll do before and after pictures to see if it really works. 


9:52pm: God I hate to get in the swing of old habits, but I ate an entire medium pizza tonight and threw it all up. :( I literally threw up 4+ pounds of food. I am feeling that "body high" from purging. It makes it so worth it. God I hattttteeeee this!!! >:( Why did I have to go and be selfish while I was pregnant and gain so much weight? 

Monday

This weekend was crazy. We were gone a lot and so I ate random stuff. Saturday I didn't even eat until evening time. (minus a couple pretzels) I don't even remember what I ended up eating. And Sunday I ate scrambled eggs, boneless buffalo wings, fries, a ton of candy and a milk shake. Ugh. Today I'm back on track though. 

Food:
Egg and Cheese Sandwich (400)


Total so far= 400


Breakfast was a lot of calories but I figured it was worth it because of the protein from the eggs, and the calcium from the cheese. My daughter is being reallyyyy fussy this morning, and the house is a mess. I left laundry in the washing machine over the weekend accidentally (stupid) and it smelled bad, so I'm rewashing it. 

Friday

I woke up with the urge to weigh myself. So I did. Probably shouldn't have, but oh well. I was 224.6. :) So that gives me motivation to keep on with this. Cutting back on eating really isn't so bad, I just have to train my body not to want such a ridiculous amount of food. I shouldn't have used pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

Food Today:
2 slices of jelly toast (200)
Grilled cheese sandwich (250)
Greens (53)
4 slices frozen pizza
milkshake


Drinks:
Coke (280)


Total = Too many


Did day 3 of postpartum work out routine, it was all arms, and omg are my arms tired. I think one of the most hated parts of my body are my arms. They are really fat, and my arms are super weak. I am so out of shape. Not surprised, but its just embarrassing. I'm pretty sure my mom is stronger than I am. But thats probably because she works out lol. Anyway, I don't have any "weights" as of yet, but I used a 64oz thing of vinegar as a weight lol, and let me tell you that sucker is heavy. :P Probably gonna hardcore clean the bathroom today as another form of burning calories. 


I binged :( But didnt purge....

Thursday

Okay so I said I'd update next week, but I don't see a reason to not write down my thoughts and daily food here. Its not like I can't write it down after everything I eat. My goal daily for this week is 1500 or less calories a day. 

Food:
3/4 cup of cereal (150)
1 peanut butter sandwich (230)
1.5 cups of bugles (170)
2 cups of oysters (338)
crackers (120)

Drinks: 
1 glass of grape/cranberry juice (137)
2 cups of coca cola (280)


Total= 1425


Today I did day 2 of my postpartum workouts. It was a quick, easy day, focused on the abdomen, and so I substituted in some more physical activity by cleaning the whole house. I vacuumed, dusted, washed the dishes, put a ton of things in their proper place. So I burned calories that way, and the place looks nice. :) The vacuum made my house smell weird though, I hope that goes away. I lit a "christmas" candle. Tonight I'm going to be having oysters for dinner with my dad again.

Week #1

Current Weight: 226.2

Goal Weight: 126.2

Mini Goal #1: 220 []

MG2: 210 []

MG3: 200 []

MG4: 190 []

MG5: 180 []

MG6: 170 []

MG7: 160 []

MG8: 150 []

MG9: 140 []

MG10: 130 []

Today is day one of losing weight. I've got 10 mini goals of ten pounds each, and 1 major goal of losing 100 pounds. I am four weeks postpartum, and really am looking forward to losing this weight! I was 242 pounds the day before I gave birth, and I gained 59 pounds altogether. I started my postpartum workouts today. I will update once a week with weight and measurements. And I will set up my goal for the next week. My goal for next Wednesday, December 15th, 2010 is 222 pounds. So I am hoping to lose 4.2 pounds in a week. I'll update then!  


BMI=36.5 Obese